THE "BIG HAND" AND THE HEIRS.

I have now written several articles regarding my direct experience in settling a deceased family member's estate.  Today, I write about heirs.  In settling my father's estate, there are just two heirs, my brother and myself.

​

     However, I can tell, even at this early stage, that we are going to agree on very little.  We will work it out because we are responsible adults, but it will not be easy.  And, in the end, both of us will not be completely satisfied.  I think some of that has to do with the fact that we are very different people with different jobs in different cities.  We have different goals as well as different attitudes and different sentiments about almost everything.  However, there is one very important common thing at risk here.  Money.  

​

The Apostle Paul said that all wrongdoing can be traced to an excessive attachment to material wealth.  We often shorten that, correctly or not, to the familiar saying "money is the root of all evil."

​

In my law practice, I have seen it go both easier and harder where there are multiple heirs.  Sometimes the heirs come to a consensus and agree on things.  This is often because they are used to going by majority rule and understand the value of group agreement.  Sometimes though, an heir will dig in his or her heels and be in such disagreement about how to settle the estate that it can cost thousands of dollars to work it out. 

​

     This is all normal human behavior.  In economics, they call it "the big hand that guides us all."  We are all interested in our own welfare first.  This is the "big hand."  It guides our decisions in almost every single action we take in life.  

     Therefore, we should understand, that when settling a deceased loved one's estate, we are going to have to deal with people, even those we love, who might be acting  in a very self interested way in regards to property and money.  This "big hand" of economic self interest, again, which is normal human nature, can appear distasteful.  It can and often does cause family problems. Heirs will want everything they are entitled to (and usually more) and are often surprisingly aggressive about it. 

​

    Knowledge though, is power.  If you know, and truly understand, that it is normal for people to want everything they think they are entitled to, it will be less shocking when your sibling suddenly acts greedier than usual. And they will.  Or when a cousin swoops in to "pick up" that painting or those tools they were told, years ago, they could have.  And they will.   

     This does happen every single day.  I am not saying it can or might, happen.  I am saying it DOES happen and it WILL happen to you. I have seen it with clients and with my own family.

     After reading this though, you should be prepared for some very self interested behavior, even from those you love.  Use the power of this knowledge to help you keep your cool no matter if you are the executor or an heir. 

     If you are the executor, know your legal responsibilities but also be aware of that heirs are likely to act in surprisingly self interested ways.  If you are an heir, know that other heirs will be just as interested in the estate as you are.  

​

    You see, the bottom line is this.  The estate must be settled according to the rules and according to law.  If it is not, there will, for absolute sure, be an heir who will complain they they didn't get their fair share.  Count on it.